Morning Ritual

Early morning visit with the weather...checking in...what's happening out here today? A ritual I have engaged in for many years now. First cup of tea while I listen and look. Sometimes I only stand inside the garage and look out if the rain is pouring down. Often I sit under Mrs. Maple for this quiet blessed time before the business of the day gets in to full swing. A walk around the gardens reveals new wonders in the spring...this morning the neighbor's cherry tree is blooming! Quiet time outside with the sounds and sights of nature. Making connections. Sometimes I talk to the weather or the birds or the plants or myself. Giving thanks to the robin singing his cheerful song. Giving thanks for the rain last night that quenched the thirst of the green ones. Giving thanks that I have this new day, in this body, on this earth.

Signs of Spring

Spring creeps up gradually here in the northeast. The first signs are the lengthening days of February and the return of the ever cheerful robins. The robins usually show up the first or second week of February, singing "cheer up, cheer up" and chuckling in the evening.

Mr. Cardinal very noisily announces that he is a pretty bird every morning and evening. Calling for his mate...notice me, pick me.

Then the snows of late February and early March. Yes, they are signs of spring. Sugar snow, we call it here, for the sugar maples love the moisture on their feet. Blue sky days follow the snows. The sun is warmer.

The first baby plants arrive in the greenhouse. The bales of potting soil are opened and moistened. Pots and packs are filled. The tiny green beings are tucked in to the warm soil. The fragrance of moist potting soil and green plants fills us.

Don't forget the fierce winds of March swirling and moaning, sweeping out the remains of winter. Sometimes blowing in another snowstorm. Reminding us that, yes, spring is coming our way but winter has not yet let go its hold.

Sap flows from the sugar maples. Sugar houses send up plumes of smoke. The annual ritual of making syrup begins. In the steamy fragrance of a sugar house you can feel winter melting out of your bones, your whole body expanding, relaxing. Ahh, maple syrup.

As I rake the winter debris from a south facing garden I uncover tiny green spears of crocus, daffodils and iris danfordiae, red-green shoots of tulips. Big, fat yellow buds of the crocus about to burst. Jewel-like chartreuse leaf buds decorate every tiny twig of the Spirea 'Ogon'. The raking stirs the moist soil and releases its sweet aroma. There is nothing like that fragrance...alive, awakening earth.

This morning I find the first spears of Alchemilla poking above the soil. A wonder, really, how all these plants awaken and push up through that still very cold soil.

Spring moves slowly here. But it always arrives...a miracle of awakenings, of precious life. 

Gratitude

Gratitude seems to be something we need to practice. It often appears that it does not come naturally to us, at least not the expression of it. What happens when we actually engage in gratitude as a practice by writing and sharing with friends or saying out loud what we are grateful for? This is what has happened for me.

Fourteen months ago I was having a lovely dinner party at my home with three dear friends and my husband. The food was delicious. The laughter and love in the room, warming. The conversations were wide-ranging. Somehow the topic of gratitude came up. My friend, Riki, told us how she used to write down, every morning, three things she was grateful for and three requests. At some point she got out of the habit and was noticing how much she missed it in her life. I loved the idea as I had done that same exercise previously and had also gotten out of the habit. I suggested that we do it as a group, via e-mail, every morning. The Gratitudes and Requests e-mail began the very next morning. We have added some others to the group since then and not everyone writes everyday but I have not missed a morning even when on vacation. If I do not have access to a computer I make sure I write in my journal what I am grateful for and what my requests are.

In the fourteen months I have noticed that practicing Gratitude has Gratitude be present as I move through my day. I find myself working outside in the sunshine saying "I am so grateful for this sunshine." I hear a voice inside acknowledging how grateful I am for the song of the birds, the beauty of the snow, my dishwasher, wash machine, daughter, husband, mother, father, sister...I am grateful for upsets, even, for they teach me so much about who I am and how I want to be in the world. The grateful voice is so much more pleasant to listen to than the critical editor.

I feel Gratitude in my heart assisting me in returning to balance when something knocks me off kilter.
Gratitude makes it so much easier to see the good in all things.
Gratitude has me be a calmer, kinder person.
With Gratitude in my heart, in all of my cells, the joy and optimism that I bring in to this world is very present, very easily shared.
Gratitude makes me smile.
The practice of writing and sharing gratitudes and requests has deepened my connection to the women with whom I share the practice. It is the way I start the day...a hot cup of tea and writing gratitudes. Beautiful.
 
And the requests part? Well, I get to make requests, send them out to my friends and the universe, be in action around them and watch what manifests. It is remarkable how making requests, coming from a place of gratitude and action, makes things happen even though what shows up may not look exactly like my original picture.

You could experiment with it...write down at least three things you are grateful for every single day. Write down at least three requests. Maybe some of your friends would do it with you either via e-mail or a phone call. Pay attention to the changes you experience in how you go through your days.

Another fun gratitude practice is to take a lined piece of paper, write down each letter of the alphabet on a line. Next to the letter write down one thing you are grateful for that starts with that letter. Do it on regular basis. It is fun and it can be challenging. What are you grateful for that starts with the letter X or Y or Z or for that matter, Q?

Today I am grateful for this life I have. Grateful for the sunshine. Grateful for the breaths I take that restore me to calm and balance. Grateful for words and sharing and this computer. Today I am grateful.

Asking For Help

During a recent conversation with my friend, Rhonda, I heard myself saying that I often don't think I can ask for help because so many people look to me for support, help, insights. As that person I have a conversation, in my head, that I must always be strong, have everything under control, put together. As I was speaking these words I stopped myself and remembered a chapter in The 13 Original Clan Mothers...I was being just like that Clan Mother...leading by example, yes, but only a one-sided example. I was leading from the competent, available, do-it-all and this is how side...a great place to lead from but I was not allowing myself room to be the good human being that I am, allowing people to see me vulnerable with needs and short-comings. Wow. That was a powerful thing for me to see and an opportunity for me to live what I have so often said is important to me...by example, in the world, actively engaged in what I believe.

I believe that we are basically good, we human beings, that we want to be loved and to love, be safe and provide safety, support and encourage each other and be supported and encouraged, that we all want to be a contribution to our family, friends, communities and the world. Time to walk the talk. So, in the last two weeks this is what I have been doing. We are in the process of moving my business which involves building a new greenhouse. A lot of details. A lot of work. My husband, Andy, has been beyond wonderful in the whole process but we had arrived at the point where he needed more than just his friend, Bob, to get the work done. Here was an opportunity to practice asking for help and allowing people to contribute. I used my e-mail groups and the business' Face Book page and put out a call for assistance. I also used my old friend the telephone. Amazing. The response has been amazing. It has been moving. I am filled with gratitude. For years I have been saying, "people just want to contribute" but having a hard time actually allowing people to contribute to me. Reaching out and asking for what is needed has allowed my community of friends and family to contribute to me, to Andy, to the business. I do not feel diminished in anyway by having asked for assistance. I feel empowered, inspired, loved and enlivened.

The Sweetness of February

Many people, here in the Northeast, profess to disliking the month of February...intensely disliking it, as a matter of fact. They dislike it so much that many of them escape to warmer places sometime around mid-month. I, on the other hand, confess to absolutely loving February. I know, the look on your face right now is "she's nuts!" But for me, February is sweet...the sweet sight of sun in a blue, blue sky...sun we haven't seen for many weeks. The sweet touch of warmth from that sun...warmth that we haven't felt since October. The days, noticeably longer, feel like a gift. The robins return in huge flocks...how can one be unhappy in the presence of such joy? Mr. Cardinal begins to sing, and sing loudly, his "pretty bird, pretty bird" song. The crows still mass in the late afternoon but now when they lift off they are flying across a soft blue February sky, the light slanting low as the sun begins to set. Off in the distance I hear a Carolina Wren calling "tea kettle, tea kettle." Sap begins to flow in the sugar maples and the sugar houses are ready, waiting for that first boil. Potting soil has been delivered...the countdown begins to the arrival of the pansy plugs. Yes, February is full of sweetness.We are circling around towards spring and all the signs point that way.

Having Fun

In The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, she dedicates the month of May to play, to really looking at what she does that is purely for fun. Reading it got me thinking about what I consider fun, how often do I actively engage in those activities and when do I participate in something that I think "should" be fun because others find it fun.

Here is what I've come up with so far.

I think it is fun to read seed catalogs for hours. It is fun to have a dozen young plant catalogs spread out all around me making lists of what I will grow for the coming season. Fun is opening the boxes of baby plants, talking to them, smiling at them, making sure they are watered and then potting them all up. Yes, sometimes fun is what I do for work! It is fun to plant up beautiful hanging baskets and custom containers for customers. I have so much fun interacting with customers that it is astonishing I get paid to do it. Shopping for the perfect plants with a customer is fun. Practically anything I do with my daughter, Jaska, is fun. Making silly noises. Pretending I am a singing star on a stage as I sing in to a make-believe microphone! Playing Christmas carols full blast while wrapping Christmas presents. Wrapping Christmas presents exquisitely...they could be photographed for 'Martha Stewart Living'. Facilitating drum circles. Dancing under the full moon. Playing the drum by a fire. Sitting on the beach with my sister. Playing Trivial Pursuit with Jaska, my sister and her daughter, Christine, all the while laughing uproariously as we cheat our way around the board. Visiting the snow geese in late October. Picking apples with Jaska. Making applesauce. Making cranberry jelly. Organizing holiday gatherings at my home. Cooking for the holidays. Having people in my home for the holidays...laughing, singing, talking, eating great food. Singing with Jaska. Being silly and not acting my age. Dancing and singing while working in the greenhouse. Tea in the road with my neighbor. Hanging out with friends and neighbors on a summer evening. Reading a good book. Laughing. Getting dressed up. Dancing with my husband. Reading to a child. Finding the perfect gift for someone I love. Rearranging furniture. Talking to trees and rocks. Dowsing. Having conversations with strangers in the grocery store.

Do I engage in activities that I think should be fun because other people think they are? Not usually anymore. I guess being 50 something has provided me with enough insight in to who I am that I am not willing to play that game very often. Although I do find myself thinking that I "should" do yoga or do weight training or go to a gym or dance studio. Other people enjoy those activities and derive benefits from them. But, you know, none of that really sounds appealing to me, not much like fun. So I think I will skip the yoga and the gym and go take a walk out in Red Rocks and talk to some trees. Or sing a song to the sun. Maybe turn the music up and dance for awhile.

When I read over my list of what I consider fun, I pause and give thanks that so much of what is fun for me is in the work that I do. I give thanks that I have fun in so many areas of my life. Taking time to really think about what is fun is a very useful exercise. I encourage all of you to do it. You may be surprised at how much of what you do you consider fun. Then again, you may realize that you are definitely coming up short in the fun department. If that's the case, now is an excellent time to put fun on the menu! Life is short go ahead and play a little, you will be glad you did and so will the people in your life.

Ground Hog Day

Yesterday was Ground Hog Day. A ground hog is a rodent and for all of us gardeners, no matter how cute he or she is, definitely not a welcome visitor to our gardens. Where did this bizarre ritual originate? Really, a ground hog can predict how many more weeks of winter we will have? It's Vermont...the beginning of February...of course we will have six more weeks of winter. Heck, we will have more than six weeks of winter. The calendar might say that the first day of spring is March 20 but, last I checked, spring shows up when it shows up...slowly, in fits and starts...teasing us...one day blue sky and sunshine with a touch of warmth...the next day a major snowstorm...then back to sunshine and 60 degrees. Poor ground hog...pulled out of his warm bed to tell us what we already know...there are six more weeks, at least, of winter. Sorry, Phil, go back to sleep and stay out of my garden this summer.

January

Here, along the shores of Lake Champlain, the sun doesn't shine much in January. January...deep in to winter...dark days, dark nights, bitter cold winds...some years the snow seems endless...this year I am left wondering where is the snow? 

Took a walk around the gardens this afternoon...garden beds iron hard...the still silhouettes of the deciduous shrubs stand mutely in the weak sunlight...the leaves of the hardy euphorbia stiff and leathery...a few twisted pods still cling to the dried stalks of the asclepias tuberosa...there is beauty here in the stark stillness of a late January afternoon. Beauty in the muted browns of the branches, silvery grays of sage and lavender, bleached out blondes of the grasses and faded chartreuse of the chamaecyparis...I can clearly see the framework of my gardens and admire the soft pinky-lilac of the stone that forms a backdrop for one bed...yes, it is beautiful and oh, so very still.

Late January...the days are noticeable longer. On those rare occasions when the sun shines there is a hint of warmth, just a hint but enough to briefly lift my spirits.

Late January...the freshness of the new year has worn off a bit, seed catalogs are well thumbed and the seeds have been ordered. A little winter pruning has been done. Too early to sow seeds. Too frozen to rake up the leaves that escaped the last raking in early December.

Late January is when I grow weary of winter even though it is a necessary part of the life cycles of the plants that I so love. I am hungry for sunshine and open windows, walking out in the early morning without a coat and scarf, the smell of moist soil and the fresh greens of growing plants. I remember now why, for three years in a row, I made sure I missed this part of winter in Vermont. I am ready for spring or a trip to a far away place where the sun shines and the sand is warm.

Magic

I believe in magic...in miracles. Yes, I do. When I hold a hand full of seeds I am in the presence of magic...I can feel it flowing from the seeds, in to my hand, up my arm, throughout my entire body. Magic lives within each one of those tiny seeds. Think about it...a seed holds within its hard coat all that is required for life to burst forth when given the right temperature, right moisture, right light conditions. Life bursts forth from this tiny thing...some of them so tiny you can barely see them...and yet, life lies within them...waiting, just waiting. I am the sower of this magic when I engage in the meditation of seeding a flat of moist potting soil with these seeds of shiny black or lumpy brown or pearly white. Some of these bits of magic are so eager to burst forth that they will germinate in 24 hours when the flat is placed on a nice, toasty heat mat. 24 hours to go from a hard seed to a bright green cotyledon! 24 hours...that is magic. I have been sowing seeds for many years...have sowed thousands of seeds...and yet, I am always delighted when those first green shoots appear. Time and again I dance a happy dance when I witness the magic I have been blessed to be a partner in. Yes, I believe in magic...I hold it in my hands every time I sow some seeds.

Eyes Bigger Than Belly Syndrome

January...heart of the winter...cold...dark...rather dreary looking with bare frozen ground. What's a gardener to do? SEED CATALOGS! I can while away hours oohing and aahing over the gorgeous photos and lush descriptions. I want that one and that one and, oh, I must have some of those. My pencil is sharpened and the crisp white lined paper waits. Soon I begin making lists...Johnny's, High Mowing, Fedco, Pinetree...lists from each of those catalogs...filling up multiple pages with all the must haves. This is truly fun! Jaska happens to be visiting and sitting right beside me..."what tomatoes do you want me to start for you? How about? And this one sounds really delicious, should we try this one?" She has nine varieties of beans on her list. And multiple peas. I'm up to 20 or 30 different tomatoes. At one point she does suggest that I really DON'T NEED any pumpkin seeds. I think that maybe I need to go down in the basement and review what seeds are left from last year but remain glued to the seed catalogs in front of me. I mean, how can a dark, cob-webby basement compare to full color pictures of tomatoes and swiss chard and zinnias and...I have to go now, the seed catalogs are calling, my pencil needs sharpening and there are more lists to make. Yipee!

Why Did I Think This Was a Good Idea?

My daughter, Jaska, wrote a great piece on her blog, philosopherfarmer.blogspot.com, about the hard way that really got me looking back at some of the not so smart, embarrassing, ridiculous, costly things I have done running this business for 14 years. I often preface observations about the hard way with "why did I think this was a good idea?"

For example, starting a business that requires a greenhouse without a greenhouse...really, why did I think this was a good idea...mixing soil by the kitchen sink, potting soil everywhere one would not expect to find potting soil, spending 3 hours a day moving plants in and out...from the dining area to the porch to the bench outside and then from outside to the porch to the dining area. Carrying watering cans from the sink to the plants in the dining area and in the basement. Lesson learned the hard way...a greenhouse grower needs a greenhouse.

How about finally getting a greenhouse but not having a furnace...why did I think this was a good idea? Found a furnace to borrow, a friend in construction wasn't using it, but did I call the propane company and have a 100 gallon tank delivered and filled? No. Instead, Andy picked up a 100 pound tank and hooked it up. I really had no idea how much propane that furnace was going to use. I managed just fine for a few weeks and then the temperature dropped dramatically one night, the temperature alarm went off and there I was, outside at 3:00 a.m. in my nightgown, barn boots and coat, wondering why the furnace was not working. Temperature dropping rapidly in the greenhouse, clueless me working up to a panic, Andy out of town. I called him and he had me check the supply line and tank. There was gas but the furnace was working so hard that it had froze in the tank. His recommendation...use a hair dryer to warm things up. Yup, 3:00 a.m., temperature 10 degrees, I am blow-drying the damn propane tank. Lesson learned the hard way...a furnace in a greenhouse requires more than a 100 pound tank of propane.

And why did I think it was a good idea to try a new fertilizer in my potting soil mix? Ah, I remember...it was organic, supposedly time-release and could be used instead of good old Osmocote. I was looking for an organic option. So, I bought some, but not just one bag, no, a half dozen 50 pound bags. Merrily I incorporated it in the potting soil and began potting up. Did I do a test batch first? No. Within two weeks everything I had potted up using that fertilizer was dead or on its way to dead. Thankfully I had not potted up everything but it was still a substantial loss. I cried the day I sent all those plants to the compost pile. Lesson learned the hard way...run test batches when changing product.

I know there are many times when I have worked 12 to 14 hour days for weeks without a break, that I ask myself, "why did I think this was a good idea?" Times, even now with the proper furnace and propane tanks, that something goes wrong and I am out in the greenhouse at 2 in the morning wondering...Or when the top of the birch tree fell through the greenhouse during a snowstorm and the three shortest people in the neighborhood; me, Jaska, Katie; were attempting to move it and patch the hole without a tall enough ladder...
Siting a greenhouse with trees on three sides...now there is the perfect situation to ask, "why did I think this was a good idea?"

Now, I can look back and laugh. I can say that I have learned much from all of them. The truth is, if I honestly answer that question, "why did I think this was a good idea", sometimes the answer is "because I did not think it all the way through"; sometimes "it was what I could do at the time"; sometimes it is because I just plain love what I do and wanted to do it and I would figure it out as I went along. Figure it out I have, sometimes the hard way. And sometimes I still ask, "why did I think this was a good idea?"

Love What You Do

There is a book called Do What you Love and the Money Will Follow...never read it...don't know what it says. I remember, though, a number of years ago being a guest speaker at a Growing Places class and Mary Peabody asked, at the end of my talk, what best advice I could give to the aspiring young farmers. My response was to do what you love, love what you do, because, in the end, loving your work is what will get you up on a cold, dark morning. Love is what will keep you singing and dancing in the face of disaster or too many hours in the greenhouse or too few customers or endless rain or a late frost that zapped all the you name it. Love lies there, within you, even when you are crying in frustration, disappointment or at your own plain stupidity. Without love you will throw in the towel, if not at the first road-block then, most likely, at the next one. Farming is hard. Sometimes it seems as if it is a thankless job. Your body hurts. You are tired, usually dirty. You don't know anyone else who works as many hours...in the dark...in the cold...in the rain...in the heat...on their feet. If you offer your products in a retail setting your customers can be cranky and ungrateful. Love will get you through.